4/12/16
We ended up coming to my house last night as I wanted Jackson to be home & I was hoping this would help Jackson be more settled. Yet early this morning Jackson woke at 2:30 am again crying out & then settled back to sleep, when I woke I found him under his favorite place the coffee table sleeping. I found two BM on his bed & realized that the end was here as he couldn’t control his bowl movements anymore. I called the vet not wanting to think of the inevitable to come, she confirmed it must be related to the nerve issue & stated if he couldn’t go pee & the bathroom today we would have to bring him in. The tears started flowing & wouldn’t stop as I sat next to Jackson & whispered in his ear that it was going to be ok that he was going to be at peace soon. I knew he was listening as he let out a couple of big sighs & adjusted himself into a better position on the rug. I began to do Reiki on his bladder & back trying to help him relax, which he did. The true test would come when we went outside to see if he could pee.
As afternoon approached we went outside, it had begun to rain slightly but I was determined to see if he would pee. We walked gingerly around the back of the yard as Jackson’s gait had gotten worse in the last couple of days, his “Get Him Up” harness was helping like so many times before. His nose in the air he sniffed the squirrel as it passed overhead on a tree branch, then he peed a dribble here then there but nothing like normal.
I made the call to Steve & waited for him to get to my house from work. The rest as you all know is the hardest thing we ever have to do to our furry friends. I whispered in Jackson’s ear that he would soon be chasing squirrels, eating crabs, swimming in the ocean & chewing piles of sticks, as a Cancer FREE & Happy dog. I told him to look out for my dog’s from youth Brandy & Boggs along with his cousins Bo & Gus who had just past away in the last couple of years, they would be his pack and would greet him. I thanked him for the almost 11 years (his birthday would have been in May) of cherished memories together and giving me the world. He went peacefully and we buried him in my parents back yard alongside his family pack.
I say goodbye to my best friend, my buddy, my partner in crime, my child that I never had, my companion and my guardian angel. I feel so blessed and honored to be his student and learn some of life’s precious lessons from him. We went through more in the past 11 yrs than most people do in a lifetime, from divorce and heartache, to joy, happiness and love. He played an integral role my daily life, he was more than just a dog (as most of you know who are going through this journey) he has taken a piece of my heart with him.
I am forever grateful to have been graced by his presence and I don’t regret the past almost 7 months. If I had to do it all over again I would just to give him the quality of life
that he deserved so much and to try to beat the odds of cancer! Just to see the little smile that came across the jowls of his jaw was priceless and the excitement and joy he expressed when he would go swimming was something I’ll never forget.
Jackson run Free, chase squirrels, chew sticks, eat crabs and swim to your hearts content ~ your free of pain and worry and at peace. I Love You to the moon and back ~ Maw
Jackson continued to be unsettled and at one point he rested his head on my thigh and looked up at me something he’s never really done before. As I sit with him I try some Reiki thinking that might help him relax but this time it seemed to not help at all, he continued panting and feeling restless.