One Scary Night and the uncertainty of what’s to come…

1/9/16

Tonight Maw and Steve head out to an event and I get to stay home alone, something I don’t enjoy:(   When all of a sudden fireworks start going off in the neighborhood and I hate them they scare me so much because they are so loud, so I get up from my bed and try to hide next to the sofa and BAM down I go and I can’t get up because every time I do my right leg slips from underneath me on the hardwood floor and I can’t grip on the nearby rug. I shake in fear not sure what to do, so I just sit and wait till Maw comes home. When Maw does come home she immediately runs to my aid knowing that something bad has happened as I’m not on my bed and instead crouched over near the couch shaking in fear.  She try’s to comfort me, but I’m all shaken up and not sure of myself anymore on the hardwood floors when they try to stand me up.  Once the fireworks have ended and I calm down Maw and Steve use my “Hold-em Up Harness” to get me outside to go the bathroom.  In fact my right front leg hurts more now than it did before and I’m not sure of where the pain is coming from, I can hardly put any weight on my leg.

The next several days I can’t move at all and I can’t put any weight on my right leg when I try walk.  Thankfully Maw uses my harness to help me up and outside to go pee, it’s humbling to me with everything I’ve been through, as Maw has to hold my hind quarters up to go the bathroom.  It’s rather depressing as I just lay on my bed in pain, but I can’t show Maw and Steve what I’m feeling inside. Steve let’s us stay at his house all week and Maw goes back and forth to work (which thankfully is close by) checking on me, taking me out and giving me my “shredded cheese” which I love, but I know it’s their way of hiding my pills in the cheese.

Doing what I do best, chewing sticks!
Doing what I do best, chewing sticks!

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Nonni comes over to say hi to me as I've been confined to the house.
Nonni comes over to say hi to me as I’ve been confined to the house & I’m so happy, see me SMILE:)

1/13/16

By Day 4 Maw is really sad & scared I’ve overheard Steve and her talking about maybe needing to take the “FINAL” step as this isn’t the “quality of life” I deserve.  Tonight when Maw get’s out of work Steve, Jake, Maw and I head to my local vet Dr. K. who I love and she immediately gets on the floor and begins to talk to Maw and ask what’s going on.   She pokes and prods my right leg and shoulder, it’s really ouchie and I try not to show my pain but I have no choice but to cry and then she reaches for the shoulder/scapula and I lurch behind me to let her know that REALLY HURTS!  Maw is scared I can tell and leaves the room to talk with Dr. K. I’m anxious to get out of the room as I’m scared too, so I keep looking to Jake and Steve to see if they can spring me out.  Then Dr. L the other vet comes in and it’s sooo good to see him too, he stays for a short while and then leaves giving his opinion.  Maw and Dr. K come back in the room and I hear her say it’s not time, you’ll know when it’s time he’ll stop eating, etc.  Then they finally open the door and we leave with I think the Dr. increasing my pain pills. I’m just happy we’re on our way home so I can sleep as I’m really tired from all the effort it was to keep things together in the office.

Maw continues to put essential oils on my shoulder to help with the pain & I love sleeping near the selenite rod, it brings me lots of positive energy!
Maw continues to put essential oils on my shoulder to help with the pain & I love sleeping near the selenite rod, it brings me lots of positive energy!

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Complete Trust in Maw…

1/8/16

Last night Maw took me to the Dr. to get a new treatment to try to help me with my ouchies in my right front leg.  I had to get an IV in my bad leg I didn’t like being there but I know she’s doing everything in her power to take care of me & give me the best quality of life, so I entrust my paw life to her.   This morning maw lets me sit out on my hill overlooking the neighborhood & I love it taking in all the smells, I know the deer are out there somewhere I’ll just sit here and wait for them.  Below are some photos that Maw took of me during my first treatment of zoledronate IV, along with some pawesome photos of me playing in the first snowfall this season with my new Pawz booties on & sleeping at work with my monkey!

Anxiously awaiting my first zoledronatetreatment
Anxiously awaiting my first zoledronate treatment
Anxiously awaiting my first zoledronate treatment
Anxiously awaiting my first Zoledronate treatment
Maw with me while I have the zoledronate IV
Maw with me while I have the zoledronate IV
First snowfall as a Tripawd, lovin it!
First snowfall as a Tripawd, lovin it!
Me  & my monkey at work!
Me & my monkey at work!

The next chapter…Zoledronate

1/7/16

It’s a new year and bright things are on the horizon for Jackson & I as we continue this journey together.  Christmas & New Year proved to be uneventful once Jackson got over his reflux incident he was so happy to see his cousins Roo & Tucker and hang with the whole family. His favorite was sprawling on the floor with my nephew Michael it was like old times when Jackson was a puppy!

Today we headed for our first appointment for Jackson IV treatment with Zoledronate.  It’s a compound that helps with rebuilding the bone mass back in animals & in a few trials been known to reduce the size of cancerous tumors, even though this is not the reason for trying this new med out. Once Jackson diagnosis expanded to his right front leg  we knew the treatment would have to change.

He was apprehensive upon going tonight so I tried to reassure him, but nonetheless he began panting & pacing all the things he does when he’s afraid & nervous.  I put his new purple “Paws” ballon booties which have really helped him get around in the snow we got last week. Dr S. & Amanda came in to discuss the new treatment & Jackson practically bulled them over three legs & all.  Since Zoledronate isn’t chemo I was told I could stay in the room while he had his 15min IV, so Amanda took him in the back to put his IV in & take a base line blood work.  Then she came with him & he had a purple bandage with a pink heart & pink “J” on it to match his purple booties, so cute!

They got us comfy on the floor with blankets & I tried to relax Jackson petting his fur & telling him how strong he was, all the while he panted & was not a happy camper. The treateme went quickly & after I asked Amanda if it was common to give the treatment in his bad leg?  She replied it was his good leg & I said no it wasn’t and she said left, right I guess I must of got them confused, yet not to worry as the next treatment which would be 4 weeks from now would be in the other leg, similar to chemo they alternate between legs.  I trust her judgement and we check out & head home exhausted from our day.

 

Moving forward….Jackson 3 month ampuversary

12/21/15  We’ve made it to Jackson’s 3 month ampuversary, so proud of him & what he’s been through he’s such a survivor in every way! We are taking each day as a gift & a miracle that we still have this time together. 

12/23/15

Today I got an email from Dr S. stating the Zoledronic acid has arrived at the clinic and I could come in tomorrow Christmas Eve for the first treatment, WHAT?! is he crazy this is the busiest time for me at my job as I’m in retail so I hunker down and decide to make an appointment for next week after the holiday, what’s one more week in the scheme of things? 

In the meantime, Christmas Day I wake to Jackson licking the carpet and trying to get sick, yuck! I’m not sure what causes these episodes (he’s had them in the past), but it’s like acid reflux or something. It usually requires him to go outside & chew grass and get sick. So sure enough this is what we did, 5am walking down the street to chew grass (luckily there’s still grass, it’s been a mild winter in the Northeast) and yes he got sick twice.  Then back home to try to rest before getting up for the holiday, but to no avail Jackson started gagging again, I feel so helpless as he looks like he’s having difficulty swallowing.
I decide to grab a pillow and blanket and settle Jackson under the Christmas tree trying to calm him down by petting and talking to him until we kind of fell asleep. I kept having morbid thoughts that maybe this was it, maybe he was trying to tell me he can’t go on anymore. It looked like he had labored breathing yet he then began to settle down and relax and I realized he was going to be ok as he closed his eyes. I knew he was thinking Maw was there next to him and I would always be by his side, no matter what lies ahead on this journey.

The next step…the waiting game!

12/8/15

So tonight Jackson did the unthinkable he jumped out of the back of my SUV into the yard without my help, I was so upset at him but realized he’s just being a dog. The kind that as soon as he gets a sniff of something wants to go investigate it immediately, the nose of instant gratification!

Also, tongiht I got an email back from our oncologist Dr. S re: a drug called Zoledronate, which supposedly he had found out about at recent Vet conference. It’s a drug for humans that supposedly helps with osteoporosis to rebuild the bone back. For dogs it gets compounded and given by IV (at 4 mg a dose every 4 weeks) for about 15 min. to help rebuild the bone back, it doesn’t however do much for the cancer but at least it helps supposedly with the pain. I’m open to it and just about anything at this point so I’ve given Dr. S the go ahead to make the call to the pharmacy that does the compounding and move forward in a positive direction.

12/9/15

Today I got a phone call from Diamondback Drugs in Arizona for the authorization and payment to move forward with Zoledronic Acid, so I gave the go ahead.  Now comes the waiting game.

And wait we do for nearly 2 weeks we play the waiting game. Jackson continues to do well tolerating the pain meds and becoming increasingly mobile able to go for longer walks and coming to work with me daily.  However, sometimes he loses traction on the wood/linoleum floor and luckily I’m there to steady him.  His appetite remains great and I continue feeding him the immune vitamins and digestive enzyme that I got online to help with boosting his overall immune system and with taking the pain meds.

I still haven’t heard from NEVOG, the place I was supposed to get a 2nd opinion re: Jackson initial x-ray.  I had hoped that Dr. S would be able to make a referral and get a Dr. to Dr. 2nd opinion (something that my vet friend Nicole said they could do free of charge), but this has yet to happen so I’m beginning to feel a little slighted and not a priority anymore. I spoke with Jackson’s current Vet and told her what happened she stated she’ll get on it and try to find out why we’ve fallen through the cracks.

In the meantime Jackson has developed lumps on his chest, in the past year yet when aspirated it was just a lympmoma, a non cancerous fatty tumor. So on 12/10/15 we go to get a follow-up re: one of these lumps that’s grown to the size of a golf ball. Luckily after an aspiration it’s a fatty tumor nothing to be alarmed about. Thank PawGod!