Tonight I was feeling so good I did the unthinkable (at least in Maw’s eyes) I jumped out of the back of our SUV into the yard. Maw left it open as she ran to unlock the door of the house and she knew that I tend to sit in the back for awhile before she helps me out with my harness, but not tonight I was feeling so good I thought I can do this. Boy was I wrong ouch…of course I didn’t let Maw know my rt front leg hurt, but it felt so good to do something on my own without any help. I later would find out that Maw was very upset as she thought I broke something in my leg. She ended up keeping me low for the next couple of days, not going on our usual walks down the street and resting my leg for me. I guess I’ll have to think twice next time before I jump, but it felt so good to be free!
In the days that followed my 2nd diagnosis Maw is a mess crying all the time and I think she’s fearing the worst. I try to show her that I’m strong like she’s told me, but it’s hard because I’m in a lot of pain. I can hardly put any weight on my right paw, so it’s makes it almost impossible for me to go for a walk outside and to the bathroom. I’m scared I’m going to slip and fall on the floors again too. Steve is helping me by holding me up with my harness but it’s really uncomfortable. I hear Maw on the phone with my vet I think and she seems excited about something.
In the next couple of days Maw begins giving me lots of shredded cheese, I wonder what I’ve done to deserve such special treatment, but mums the word I’m not going to turn my nose up at handfuls of cheese and delicious smelling chew-able treats at all hours of the day and night. I kind of think it has something to do with what Maw was talking with the vet about, but like I said I’m not barking about it. Instead, I begin to feel better I slowly start putting weight on my right front leg and it’s not ouchy anymore I’m feeling more myself. Maw continues to put these smelly oils on me and all I want to do is lick them (I think they are essential oils that she’s just started using because I can smell them in the room too coming out of what looks like a lotus flower), Maw must be working her magic again!
11-21-15 the day after my 2nd diagnosis, Maw’s taking a lot of pictures of me, I wonder why?
A couple of days later I overhear Maw talking to the vet again thanking her for prescribing me Amantadine and a low dose of Gabapentin, along with Rovera, this is what she must mean when she says “the cocktail” is working. To me it feels like a miracle as I’m not limping anymore. I am happy as I’m going to work with Maw and taking our walks and all I want to do is play outside and run, but I know I can’t quite yet because my only back leg sometimes gives out on me when I get too excited. I hope I continue to get better, as I’m not scared anymore and I feel invincible.
Thanksgiving morning I’m feeling better, maybe I’ll get some turkey today!11-29-15 I continue to feel a lot better, Maw lets me outside so I can chew my bone!12-6-15 Maw took me for the longest walk yet…in the woods…I love the woods as you can see, yum, yum, yum!
Today is Jackson’s 3rd Chemo treatment and it is supposed to be like any other day of the week. Life as we know it has continued to be uneventful for the past month since he’s been tolerating his chemo treatment. Jackson continues to do pawtastic chasing squirrels, going to work with me and living like a happy dog. However, yesterday when he got up he did a “Bambi” on the hardwood floors, all 3 legs spread eagle on the floor. I quickly picked him up and put on his harness so I could help him get outside and now it has been difficult for him to walk on his right front leg and to be non-weight bearing on his only leg seems almost impossible. Is it arthritis or muscle soreness? I am worried and concerned about what it could be?
When Dr. S. checked his leg last month (after his swim and probably overexertion) he thought it was muscular and not bone related so we put him back on Rovera (NSAID) and it seemed to help. A couple of days later he was back to himself, bounding up stairs, having lots of energy, he seemed happier than he’s ever been, so why now? He didn’t do anything stressful this week to aggravate his leg, other than maybe jumping out of the van without me knowing (aha maybe it was this movement)?
We went to our apptointment as normal and I told Dr. S. about what Jackson had experienced the past couple of days and how I worried I was about what it could be. He did a physical exam of Jackson and we decided as a precaution we should do an x-ray to rule out anything before proceeding with the chemo treatment today and to quiet my fears. We waited quite awhile for radiology to come get him, so I decided to do Reiki on his shoulder and try to comfort him and calm him down as Jackson began to become very vocal with me. I’ve never heard him cry and whine like he did and talk to me while he was yawning. I know he was trying to tell me he was in a lot of pain and scared and it was heart wrenching for me to see and hear him this way. The wait felt like eternity!
So they finally whisked Jackson off to get the x-ray and the waiting continues, I’m like a nervous mother in the waiting room, going outside to walk in the sun anything to keep my mind off from thinking the worst. I am thankful they have a radiologist on staff who will be able to read the x-rays right away.
Then they call me back in, Jackson’s laying on his comforter very sleepy as they had to give him some doggie Valium to relax him while taking the x-ray. As I listen to Dr. S and Amanda in what feels like a slo-mo movie tell me that Jackson has another bone lesion on in his right front shoulder, What you’ve got to be kidding me?? We had this!! He was doing so well…This can’t be true as I can’t fight back the tears that roll down my cheeks. The rest feels like a blurr and a bad nightmare.
The Dr. proceeds to tell me that Jackson appears to have developed a metastatic bone lesion in his right proximal humerus based on the x-rays taken today. The means that the cancer has progressed despite chemotherapy, but I thought Bone Cancer wasn’t supposed to spread from bone to bone?? Once again he uses the phrase “this doesn’t look like typical Osteosarcoma”, what’s that supposed to mean?!! He continues to discuss several palliative options including pamidronate, radiation therapy and pain meds to make him feel comfortable. With palliative treatments the average survival time is usually 3-6months, although combinations may provide longer benefit. It all sounds like mush swirling in my brain as I try to control my crying and the negative thoughts that keep invading my mind about what’s to come! I asked the question, if Jackson was your dog what would you do? He replies “I would do everything in my power to keep him as comfortable as possible, perhaps radiation, so that he could resume some quality of life.”
Amanda follows me out to the check-out area and sits with me comforting me with her kind words, lots of questions begin spiraling through my mind. How am I going to get him in/out of the van if he can’t help me? How is he going to come to work with me and walk up the stairs? She adds her two cents, “If this was my dog I would do whatever I could to provide him pain relief and if he can come back to work with you then even better.” I know now it’s about pain management and maintaining some quality of life for Jackson, but what does that mean and what will that look like? We get him into the van and they send me off telling me to give him some of the leftover Tramadol from his surgery to help with the pain.
It is the longest hour ride home as I sob back tears thinking of the inevitable decision I might have to make, it’s 5 days before my birthday and Thanksgiving I need to take it one day a time. Breath Andrea, Breathe! I whisper into Jackson’s ear we’re going to fight this buddy don’t give up, I’m not giving up on you now!
Today is Jackson’s 2nd chemo treatment Steve is able to come with me, as it’s a Saturday which I appreciate the additional moral support. Jackson’s blood work is normal and he continues to tolerate the chemo, the process is much the same as last time except that Amanda isn’t here so we don’t have the extra layer of pawlove that she brings to our sessions (no comforter and napping) We have noticed that since Jackson’s swim he has been favoring his right front leg quite a bit, so we brought this to the Dr attention and he checked it out by maneuvering the leg, his conclusion is it’s muscular and not structural as it’s been getting better with anit-inflammatory meds, what a relief!
Jackson continues to do pawtastic with no negative side effects from the chemo (other than lethargy for the following day), his energy level and appetite are normal and he is otherwise a happy tripawd!
10/9/15 (I’m back finally trying to caught up on blogging Jackson’s Journey)
Today’s Jackson’s first chemo appt. I’m a little nervous and unsure of how he’ll respond to the chemo but I have faith that we are making the right decision. Amanda (the oncologist technician) greets us and takes us into the exam room that we had our consult in and brings in a comforter and places it on the floor for Jackson to lay on. She’s such a gentle spirit with Jackson and I can tell he’s in good hands. She takes us down the hall to first get weighed, Jackson’s gained another 4lbs, yay! Then she explains the process, first she’ll take blood work to make sure all his levels are ok, then she’ll administer the anti-nausea medicine and finally she’ll take him to down the hall to administer the chemo treatment (intravenous Carboplatin). I asked to stay in the room with him while he was having his blood drawn and his anti-nausea medicine administered. After this was done we had to wait about 10-15min. while the medicine took effect, so I decided to do some Reiki to help calm his nerves and create a blanket of healing in his system. He relaxed and we waited, then Amanda came back to get him for his first treatment. I went out to the waiting room and proceeded to wait, boy did that seem forever. Then she called me back in and said everything went fine, she said he was such a cuddle bug because during his treatment she stayed with him and he just fell asleep next to her and she took a nap with him.
Success…treatment was over till the next month and we were headed home. In the proceeding day he was very lethargic and his pee stunk like chemicals (I know not pleasant but the truth), but other than that no real side effect, his appetite remained normal and he was otherwise himself. In the following 7 days and 14 days we had to go for blood work, CBC to make sure his white blood cell count didn’t drop to low (which it didn’t), our tripawd life was back to the new normal.
